Tag: media

Think before you Judge

Don’t assume their happiness is fake because you are in reality faking your own

If I’m judged (which I totally am) or unfriended on social media (happens a lot) for doing Younique, or sharing my happiness then i will pray for those people. As much as it bugs me, i must remember that I also was the type of person who was annoyed by happy, confident people. They pissed me off. It wasn’t until I got healthy mentally & spiritually that I realized that it’s way easier and better to lift other women up then to judge them.
Let’s be clear. My life isn’t perfect. I just don’t air my dirty laundry on social media. I share my family, my sobriety in hopes to help others, my animals and my business that helps so many women feel good about themselves inside and out. It provides for my family. I’m Christmas shopping this week because I made money working online.
So I guess God is showing me what I had once done to others. Judged them by their happiness, by their selfies and by their jobs. When in fact the real problem is within themselves just like it was inside me.

I used to make fun of women who worked the streets and now I have great friends who used to be those women. I have compassion for them today. I see them as women, individuals and not for what they used to be.

I used to judge alcoholics who drank everyday and smelled of booze. Who scrambled change to buy a can of beer. And I became an alcoholic myself. I became who I once judged.

I used to judge those who rushed into relationships and then I did it myself.

I could never understand how mothers or fathers could let themselves get to a point where they lose their children. Then it almost happened to me. It woke me up real quick! Now I understand. Addiction takes over. It doesn’t make us bad parents it made us sick parents.

I’m grateful God shows me these lessons because without them i would not learn.

Don’t judge others. Don’t assume you know their life. Don’t assume their happiness is fake because you are in reality faking your own. I speak these words because I’m speaking from experience. I’m no longer that person I have explained here today. When I come across people who hurt my feelings, I ponder over it way too long. Eventually I pray about it & slowly let it go.

We cannot expect the world to treat us how we want to be treated. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. All we can do is control how we react.

React with kindness not judgement. You never know when you will go through the same thing.

Don’t paint someone as weird or someone who you would never be friends with. God may cross your paths at some point and they may become your best friend or someone who comes into your life for a reason.

Don’t complain when it’s too hot and complain when it’s too cold. Don’t stress over not having money and then stress about paying bills when you do have money to pay them. Don’t complain about the cashier who wasn’t friendly. She may be working 3 jobs to feed her kids and she is exhausted. Don’t judge a parent who’s child is screaming, you have no idea if that child has disabilities that are not visible.

My rant is based on the fact that this world is taught to judge.

Why should we judge anyone when we aren’t perfect.

Perfection does not exist so why do we seek it.

God can judge me. And I’m completely comfortable with that today.

Sober 1600 days December 10th 2018

 

I am not an Anonymous Alcoholic

13

A few months back, I met a fellow recovering alcoholic at a meeting. We got along well right away. After a few meetings together, we added each other on Facebook.

Before I continue, I want to explain how I personally run my Facebook profile. Most people I have on my Facebook are members of my family, members of my boyfriends family, friends & older friends who I have known for a very long time even if we don’t see each other anymore, & my new friends I have made in AA. I do not use my Facebook as a personal popularity contest. I personally do not understand how someone can have over 500 or 1000 friends because there is no way in hell that they actually know that many people. I really highly doubt it! I also have certain privacy restrictions. Some people are restricted, so they do not see all my pictures or my daily status. With that being explained, I have every right as an individual, to post whatever I may please on my Facebook wall. After all I am sharing it with selected people on my friends list, mostly all family and close friends! Since becoming sober last July, I slowly began being open about my sobriety with my friends and family. I started out with hints while sharing a quote, or posting a selfie with the number of days sober. Eventually I posted a selfie holding a sobriety chip, and that’s when my facebook blew up with likes and comments. Most of them had no clue that I had any kind of problem. But you know, I had all positive comments and everyone was very supportive. I felt relieved, and proud of myself for not hiding it anymore. I hid it from everyone in my close circle (or tried…and terribly failed!) and it felt great to be out in the open. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was no longer lying or hiding it. Now, I understand this is not the way for everyone, but it is for me. When I finally got sober & started recovering, I vowed to never hide who I was again. Sure, I suffer with more than just alcoholism. I have an eating disorder as well. But im not recovering, so i choose not to talk about it just yet. I cannot help others when i am suffereing and struggling myself. While I am recovering from alcoholism, and going through the journey, I can help those still suffering. I can share my experience, strength and hope with them. I can share my story, what it was like then, and what it is like now. At the end of the day, helping others helps me!

Not more than a month or two after we added eachother on facebook, she sent me a message telling me that she has decided to remove me as a friend because of the things i post on facebook (obviously about my sobriety). She said she is big on keeping the anonymity of AA and cannot be friends on social media with me. I was instantly defensive and bothered with this. I told her I am not breaking anonymity. She never explained any further, so I let it go. But it has since kept me wondering. Are we breaking anonymity because some of choose to be open about our sobriety on social media? Addiction is all around us, everywhere we go. There is still a stigma because there are many who do not understand it. The problem is public, however I am not supposed to share my story publically in hopes to be part of the solution? Sure, i share at meetings. But the solutions should be allowed to be spread further than the rooms. There are people suffereing in silence. They are reading what others have to say on facebook or instagram, and building up the courage to call for help.If they make that call, than I have helped them and have done a service.

I will always keep what I hear at meetings, within that room. I love AA and what the program has done for my sobriety. I never gossip after a meeting, I do not tell my family what I hear, and I will never write about what I hear. But, I will always be open & honest with my own story with whoever I choose, wherever I choose and whenever I choose. That is my right, and part of my recovery is helping others struggling, and in my opinion it doesn’t stop at the door of a meeting. It goes beyond the doors because you never know who is struggling, where they are, or where they may hear just the right thing, that gives them strength & courage to ask for help.